Tension
by Nahii
Summary: I was curious, and unsatisfied.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer:** All wrongs reversed.

* * *

"Will you do it? Please?"

I choked on my bottle of water, as his words hit me. I swallowed convulsively as a faint heat crept up my ears and I tried to focus on the boy standing directly in front of me.

When he approached me after basketball practice and said that he wanted to talk to me about something, I was prepared for all sorts of confrontations. That I might have dated his girlfriend... Or his sister... Or the girl he was planning on asking out himself...

When guys singled me out to have a little "talk", it was usually about such things ― involving other girls. When guys had something to "discuss" with me, they were usually in a fit of nervous anger. They felt they had to avenge their pride and yet know they would lose in a physical fight, so they ask me to "talk" with them.

And when guys asked me to have a talk, it didn't start with them propositioning me for...

"Will you do it? Teach me how to have sex?"

His bluntness made my throat, nose, and ears burn.

What am I supposed to say in reply?!

"They say that Heiwajima-san will do it if he likes the other party enough."

I raised my eyebrows at this. Well that certainly had a ring of truth in it. It wasn't that I slept around left and right but when someone asked and the moment was right, there was no reason to refuse. I had no girlfriend and it was convenient.

If that made me sound like a playboy, I don't give a shit about it. Relationships were not really my thing. The other party always knew that it would be futile to accept something more.

I did a quick appraisal of him, wondering if I could even get it up for a guy. The thought that I was even considering saying yes made my ears even warmer.

He had short black hair; the summer heat made some strands stand out in disarray. Pale, smooth skin that my eyes followed until it disappeared into the vee of his shirt. My eyes followed the line of the exposed collarbone and down his arm. He was firmly built, not too thin with just a hint of defined muscle on his lanky frame. My eyes roved further down his torso and settled on his crotch. I found myself licking my lips and I forced my eyes back up his face when they met his own that glowed in the orange afternoon sun. Beautiful.

I realized I was half-erect. I also haven't said a word to him yet.

I gazed into his eyes searchingly, trying to find the words to say...

"Will you do it?" he asked again a third time.

I nodded.

"I'm not promising anything..." I gave him a pointed look. "But yes, let's give it a shot."

His answering smile was so bright and I found myself wishing he would always smile like that.

We were walking side by side and I wasn't really sure where we were headed.

And then, I realized I don't even know his name.

"Hey, what do I call you?"

"Baby, you can call me anything you want."

I gaped at him. And realized a split-second later that he was joking.

"I meant," I replied grinning. "What is your name."

"I know, I know. I just wanted you to loosen up a bit. You're stiff and tense all over and we haven't even done anything yet. And my name is Izaya."

He was smiling at me, attempting to lighten the mood. My mood. He had a point.

At the back of my mind, I was worrying and worrying over what will happen. It sorta felt like my first time all over again.

"Izaya-kun." I tested the words on my lips. "Is it alright to call you by your first name?"

He nodded.

It was a very uncommon name and I repeated it in my mind.

"Uhm, Heiwajima-san?"

"Mm?"

"I was thinking, maybe we can go to one of those uhhh…" he made a helpless gesture with his hands and for the first time, I saw a telltale blush make its way on his cheek.

"You mean, love hotels?" I said nonchalantly. Heh, it was nice to be not the one blushing, for once.

He nodded, and turned his head away.

I realized that the general direction we were heading was towards _that_part of town and suddenly, it didn't feel quite right to do that.

I don't know why I am being a sentimental fool all of a sudden but I grabbed his arms and took off in the opposite direction.

"Where are we going?" His voice was laced with curiosity.

"First things first." I replied.

We ducked into a convenience store and looked through the stalls. I got milk tea and an assortment of snacks. When we paid at the counter, I saw Izaya slip in some condoms and I added the bottle of lube I got as an afterthought.  
I winked at the cashier and I could tell she was fighting very hard to keep a blank expression of her face.

"I didn't realize that while I was looking through chips and cookies you were checking the assortment of rubbers available." I nudged Izaya in the ribs as I gave him a cheeky grin.

"I- I…" he stammered. "I didn't have any so…" He hid his eyes under his bangs.

I thought that he was so _fucking adorable._

"Come on," I said as I led the way.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see when we get there."

And he did.

His eyes widened as he took in the Heiwajima name plate on our front gate.

Those same wide eyes, he focused on me, questioningly.

I ignored his silent question as I led the way through the door, up the stairs and into my room.

He padded silently behind me.

I put down our stuff on the low table and took off my blazer.

He was still standing by the door.

"Izaya?"

"Why?"

"Eh?"

"Why did you bring me here?"

I just shrugged in reply. It was difficult to give a response to his question when I didn't even know the answer myself.

"Don't worry about it."

I heard him mumble an okay and he sat down on the floor by my feet. I was actually at a loss of what to do so I just concentrated on him, on Izaya.

His breathing was uneven, sometimes rapid and then slowing down like he's consciously trying to control the pace. If I was nervous about this, then I wonder just how _he_felt. Earlier, he tried to help calm me down and I found myself wanting to reciprocate the action.

"Uhm," I began.

He shifted his position and looked up at me with those unwavering eyes.

I smiled. "Wanna take a shower?"


	2. Chapter 2

I bet he didn't expect that I was suggesting we take the shower together.

As he undressed, he tried to keep his back turned to me. I was blatantly watching him take off layer by layer of clothing and it was fucking hot.

As I expected his body was slim yet toned, covered by smooth expanse of skin. The shirt slipped off his shoulder as he struggled with the buttons and I moved to make him face me.

"Let me." I breathed.

He gave his assent and his fingers were trembling as they brought my hand to his shirt. I didn't want to rush things and it all seemed like a solemn ritual so I flicked each button open at a laboriously slow pace, revealing more and more skin for my eyes to devour.

I realized his hands were fists at his side. I peeled his shirt away from his body and brought his hands to my shirt.

"Do mine." I whispered.

His eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he struggled to steady his hands and undo my shirt.

He seemed hesitant to remove it himself so I just shrugged it off and tossed it on the floor.

My eyes burned a trail down his chest, past that navel I'd love to sink my tongue into, and encountered his pants.

Just the short chore of removing each other's shirts got us both breathing heavily and unevenly. His eyes had also been roaming all over my body just as I was taking in the sight of him.

I wanted those pants off _now!_

My cock throbbed in anticipation and I unbuckled my belt and slipped it off. I watched him mimic my actions. I undid the snap and pulled down the zipper and my stare was riveted on his crotch as he undid his fly.

The hint of red underwear made me catch my breath and made my body burn several degrees hotter. I let my pants slide down my legs and kicked them away. I heard his sharp intake of breath and I knew what he was seeing.

My erection tented my blue briefs and the head was struggling to work its way free from the confinement.

Izaya was shyly pushing his own trousers down and I couldn't see what he was trying to hide until I saw his own erection straining against his underwear with a damp spot clearly evident against the red material.

_Oh my..._

I licked my lips involuntarily. Izaya was still hiding his face.

Realizing the initiative will be up to me mostly, I took off my underwear as well. He seemed reluctant to take off his.

"Hey, Izaya."

He still wasn't looking at me. I bet a delicious blush was on his face right now.

"We're going to take a shot at this, right?"

I heard an indistinct yes.

"Come here. Can't do this without you, baby."

He took two steps closer and _finally_ he was within reach. I hooked my thumbs on the waistband and took the last barrier of clothing away.

We were both so aroused and we haven't done anything yet.

I led the way into the shower stall and turned on the warm spray. His back was turned to me and I leaned in for a hug, wrapping my arms around his body.

I leaned towards his ear. "If I do anything you don't like, just say so, okay?"

"Okay." He turned towards me then, facing me and I gave him the most boyish smile I could.

I traced his jawline with my thumb and moved to trace his lower lip. It looked utterly kissable so I did just exactly that.

Experimentally, I rubbed our lips together once, twice before I moved to suckle gently on that plump flesh. As my lips wrapped around his, I felt him lean against me and I supported his weight with my own.

Wet, suckling noises echoed in the room and I was getting drunk on the taste of him. His tongue accidentally touched my lip and I took that as an invitation to explore his mouth. He let my tongue slip in easily and I drove in and out of that delicious cavern, mating with his.

Out of breath, I reluctantly drew away. My eyes roamed up and down his body and my hands itched to touch him.

My hands were still at the small of his back and I moved to rest them on his shoulder. My thumb idly traced his collarbone and unable to resist, I dipped my head and licked the same path with my tongue.

While my mouth made love to his collarbones, my thumb slid downward and teased the pink nubs on his chest. A low moan escaped his throat and I felt that moan burn deep in my belly.

My fingers tweaked and pinched Izaya's nipples until they stood proudly against his chest. My hot mouth descended on them soon after, greedily devouring them, alternating between sucking and licking.

I allowed my hands to roam further down even more until they rested on his hips. I nudged Izaya so he would lean against the wall. My body was bent over him as my mouth lavished attention on his nipples. Gathering courage, one hand crept closer to the junction between his legs and I could feel him straining towards my hand.

I grinned against him, loving how he allowed his desire to show freely.

I straightened and kissed the shell of his ear while my fingers combed teasingly through the coarse, dark curls at his groin.

"Tell me what you want?" I asked, my hand still avoiding contact.

"You're a tease." He accused. He turned his head to look at me and I was breathtaken by the hazy, unfocused look. His lips were parted and he was panting slightly.

I wondered briefly how he would look like when I was driving my cock through him, massaging deep inside his body.

_Fuck._

I felt precum seep down my erection and when I looked at his, a bead of white had formed at the slit, too. It was an invitation I wasn't going to refuse.

Gently, slowly, my hand fisted his cock. I leaned up and rested my head on my forearm, against the wall above Izaya. I wanted to watch him, observe him at his reaction at being made love to for the first time.

A happy feeling settled in my tummy and I ignored it. More pressing was the O of surprise on Izaya's lips as I thumbed his slit and when I moved my hand up and down, his eyelids fluttered close.

My cock was already throbbing painfully, desperate for some attention.

Mesmerized, I watched him move his hips seeming to want more. The sight of him, humping my hand, was more than I could take.

When I went down on my knees, I felt him tense up.

It was going to be my first time to give head, but fuck it, I wanted to. So bad.

I gave the tip a tentative lick and decided I loved his taste. Low moans were escaping his open mouth and I looked up to see him watching him. Holding his stare I took his cock inch by inch into my mouth. It hurt when it got past my throat and my eyes watered but I was spurred on by the pleasure on his face.

_Damn_! I'd do anything to make him keep on doing those sexy little sounds that sent jolts of arousal up my spine.

Moving on instinct, I bobbed my head up and down, as I deep throated him. My eyes were closed and all I could do was taste him, smell his musky scent.

His soft mewls filled the air and my hand found its way between his thighs to fondle the hanging sacs gently. His hips gyrated in rhythm to my sucking and when a guttural moan tore its way from his mouth, I knew he was close.

I quickened the pace and moaned, hoping he'd feel the vibrations on his cock. My roaming hand found his perineum and I massaged it, pressing down on it. His hips were moving erratically how and his hands were pulling at my hair.

"Ahh- Co- Coming!"

With my finger, I pressed down hard and Izaya arched his back against the wall beautifully. He was orgasming but I was delaying the release of his cum, extending his orgasm by a few precious seconds.

White spurts soon filled my mouth and I savored the taste.

He sunk down on the floor, spent. I gathered him in my arms.

"You okay?" I asked with a cocky grin.

He peered at me through his lashes and licked my lips.

"That was mind _blowing_." He replied and I laughed.

"Let's go to bed." I suggested and we stood on shaky knees. I caught him giving my erection a look and I just grinned at him.

"We'll have to do something about that."

"Definitely."

I toweled him down and I was taken aback when he took the cloth from me and wiped me down as well. I was happy he was being more assertive.

I lay down on the bed and soon he was cuddling up against me, half-beside, half on top of me.

Skinship is nice, I thought. I never appreciated skinship until now.

With a shy grin he pushed himself up on all fours and bent down to kiss my lips gently, coaxing my tongue out to mate with his.

I'll never get tired of his taste, that's for sure.

Our lips parted with a soft smacking sound and I watched him settle down on my thighs.

"You're big." he said bluntly and I was torn between being embarrassed, being proud, and comforting him that I won't hurt him.

He took my erection on both hands and I watched on with interest. Knowing it was his first time, I let him explore and do what he wanted even if it was tortuously killing me.

"You're not a natural blonde too." He grinned at his fingers sifted through the crinkly curls.

"No shit, Sherlock."

We both laughed.

The laughter soon died away as he concentrated on pleasuring me with his hands. Fluid was leaking from the slit and there was nothing I could do about it, I was so aroused already I craved release.

His hands began a sensual up and down motion, sometimes grazing over the head, in varying degrees of quick motions alternating with slow caresses. It was driving me crazy and I probably looked like a wild animal way I bucked and grunted at his ministrations on my cock.

"You're so sexy." he choked out and I forced my eyes to open and saw his cock erect already.

"Fuck." I moaned. I needed to come. I can't even begin to think about penetrating him when I was this close.

I don't want to hurt him.

With disbelieving eyes, I watched his lower his head and take the head of my cock in his mouth.

Ah, shit, shit!

I was so close and just the tiniest amount of stimulation would send me over the edge...

And then I saw Izaya pump himself as he sucked on me.

There was no way I could have given him fair warning. The orgasm I had been holding back flooded me, first the tightening deep inside me followed by the sweet release. I savored every second of that mindblowing experience, thinking it had never been this good before.

When I sank back to reality, Izaya was sitting on my torso, looking at me with a small, contented smile. There was a bead of white at the corner of his mouth and I pulled him down to lick it off him.

"You taste so much better." I confided and I relished the pink tinge on his cheek.

I threw his erection on my chest a pointed look, and the blush on his face deepened.

"Can I ask why you wanted to do this?" I wanted to know badly, but I was sure I wasn't going to like the answer.

"Can I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"I want to seduce someone, only I don't know how... you know." He shrugged and avoided looking at my eyes.

I was sorry I had asked and I was sorry to see his erection go half-erect.

"I told you not to worry, didn't I?" I gave him what I hoped to be a very convincing grin. I pulled him down closer and whispered in his ear.

"I'll just have to teach you everything, right?"

He gave a small gasp and I pushed him, reversing our positions. Whoever the lucky bastard is that Izaya planned on seducing, I'm sorry but I'm going to get a taste of everything first.

"But.." Izaya squeaked as I attacked his navel with my tongue.

"Don't worry, okay?"

He gave me one of those bright smiles and everything was right again.

Bypassing his erection, I dove in to nibble at his thighs. My tongue licked a wet trail from his knees up towards the junction and soon I was suckling gently on his balls, playing with them in my mouth.

His legs parted of their own accord and I could see everything. I swallowed thickly, blood rushing to my half-erect cock.

It was quite easy to flip him over on the bed, his pliant body willing and easy to position. That pick, puckered hole was in plain sight and I couldn't wait to get a taste of it. I started by taking a mock bite from one of his perfect ass cheeks and Izaya squealed on the bed.

"You like that?"

"I don't know... it feels different."

I licked the spot and bit again and this time Izaya squirmed in response.

"I think you like it." I whispered as I paid the other globe the same biting caresses while my hand massaged the other.

Izaya moaned against the pillow and I could see a spot on the sheet were his cock dripped unashamedly.

My tongue drew a wet trail from my last bite mark towards the middle and I heard him give a strangled gasp as I wet the opening thoroughly with my saliva.

Tentatively, I tried pushing my tongue inside but it won't go in very far and it frustrated me so I could only focus on loosening up the opening a bit.

Pulling away, I observed my handiwork and leaned back on my heels.

A finger brushed questioningly at the entrance and Izaya's answering squirm was all I needed.

Slowly, I pushed in, marveling at the heat surrounding my finger, at the amazing tightness. It would be pure bliss to be inside this insane heat and my cock throbbed in agreement.

I had no definite idea what to do but I guess I should loosen him up.

"Relax." I crooned and I slid the finger in to the hilt and allowed it to explore inside, wiggling and caressing the damp walls.

Within minutes, Izaya was gyrating his hips, meeting each of my finger's thrust with his own. I slipped a second finger in easily.

"Mghn!"

"Feeling good?" I asked, my voice strained.

"Hahh- yes... more.."

My fingers did slow scissoring motions, loosening him up even more. Perspiration broke on my skin from the strain of keeping in control.

A third finger found his way in and Izaya arched his back.

"I'm going in," I whispered. I hurriedly tore open the condom wrapper and put it on. From the corner of my eye, I could see the bottle of lube. I picked it up and spread a generous amount on my cock. The cold temperature made me bite out a curse.

"Baby, I'll warm you up in no time."

I didn't realize Izaya was watching me prepare myself and his words made me growl with need.

I positioned myself and Izaya wiggled his hips invitingly.

"Who's the tease now?"

"It's payback."

Slowly I pushed the head in, struggling to go slow, slow.

"Oh, fuck." I heard Izaya whimper.

"Relax, baby, am I hurting you?"

"More." Izaya gasped. And when I pushed in an inch further, he gave another whimper against the sheets.

I realized he was not whimpering with pain but with _need._

When I was fully sheathed inside him, I gave both of us a few seconds to adjust to the sensation. The hot walls gripping my cock was driving me insane. I had never felt this incredible tightness around myself before. It was all I could do to stop instinct from taking over and letting my hips roll.

"Izaya?"

"I feel so full. You fill me up so deep." Izaya moaned.

That moan was my undoing.

I started with short thrusts, never fully withdrawing my cock from that tight heat.

I realized I was never going to last long, not when the novelty of the sensation has my senses all tingling and aroused.

I watched Izaya gyrating, spread on all fours on the bed, _my bed._ And I was overwhelmed with a desire so great I could have stopped a fucking bullet train.

"I- I'm close." Izaya bit out and he clamped down on me hard and I saw stars.

I could feel that familiar tightening building inside me and I desperately grabbed his cock as I tugged it, forcing his orgasm out of him. I didn't want to come before he did. I wanted to feel him milking me with his orgasm and...

_Oh fuck, yes, oh god, like that._

I released my load then, grunting deep and guttural sounds into Izaya's ear as I bent over his body, savoring the release.

I slipped out of him and we both collapsed on the bed, enjoying the afterglow. I took of the rubber and threw it away.

I looked at Izaya and I was torn, unsure what to do.

"Hey." I touched his shoulder.

"Mm?" He turned towards me and gave me a lazy smile, eyes still closed in bliss.

I couldn't resist and I leaned closer to kiss his closed lids as I gathered him in my arms.

More skinship, huh.

But I liked it.

It was my last coherent thought before sleep took over, a happy buzz flowing in my veins.


	3. Chapter 3

"Oi, Shizuo!"

I grumbled as I ignored my friend and continued to shoot baskets. I cursed as yet another ball missed its mark and bounced to the floor with a dull thump.

I heard Kadota approaching me from behind. Ignoring him once more, I tried to shoot another ball and gritted my teeth as it bounced off the board.

"What's wrong?"

"How do you know something is wrong?" I snapped at him. I realized it was hopeless and I stumbled lethargically around, collecting the balls scattered around the indoor gym.

It was the part I hated the most about practicing and it made my mood even darker.

Behind me Kadota helped me with my chore. I could feel his stare burning down my back.

"What?" I bit out.

"You rarely miss the basket, Shizuo. And you only do when you're really bothered about something."

"Shut up!"

His words further riled me. I didn't need anyone reminding me of how frustrated I was already.

And I was really frustrated. The emotion choked me and I didn't know how to handle it, how to make it go away. If I could make it disappear, I would.

Someone please, tell me how!

Kadota made no comment after that and just helped me lock up the equipment in the storage room. I knew I had to apologize. He was my friend and he was only trying to help. I rubbed my temple, feeling a headache starting.

"Listen," I began.

"Don't mind it, Shizuo." He gave me a soft tap on the shoulder. "I know you don't want to tell me but…"

I nodded and gave what I hoped to be a small smile of gratitude. I know what he meant, and I appreciated it a lot.

Outside, the clouds loomed heavily with rain.

"I have an umbrella." Kadota chirped it. "Want me to wait for you?"

"No, it's okay. You go on ahead."

Kadota waved goodbye and he sauntered off in the direction of the school gates.

I stood there, rooted to the spot, lost in the grey sky. Then, the all too familiar wave of infuriation overtook me and I cursed.

For one whole week, damnit!

I was looking for Izaya for one whole week at school and was unable to find him. It seemed like everyone and everything was conspiring to stop me from seeing him again.

The first hurdle was his name.

All I had was his first name. How infatuated was I, anyway, that I forgot to get his last name too?

A lot of the replies I got ran along the lines of, '_Izaya? What kind of name is that? What characters do you use to write it? What's his last name?'_

I went to all the juniors' classrooms, asking if anyone knew him, hoping to get a sight of him, and then maybe talk to him.

I wouldn't lie to myself. If I could go to bed with him again, I would. The physical attraction was still there and overwhelming me. If I closed my eyes, I could still imagine his taste and his scent.

But more than that, more than incredible sex, I wanted to see that smile again.

And since I was being honest with myself, the thing that was bothering me the most was that I wanted to know if he was able to seduce that person he was aiming for.

My gut twisted and my hand clenched down painfully around the key in my fist as I stomped towards the faculty room.

I didn't bother knocking. I knew that would be the only one left inside.

I slid the door open and bumped into the boy who was heading out.

"Hey!" I half-shouted, sprawled on the floor.

The other was standing up, mumbling apologies.

Then a switch was turned on in my head and I gasped.

"You!"

The word took Izaya aback, his eyes widened with shock.

"So- sorry."

I was on my feet in an instant, drinking in the sight of him.

"Wait." I whispered, as if afraid to break the spell, and then he would disappear once more.

I handed the key to our equipment over to the teacher and was unable to stop the sigh of relief as I saw him still waiting for me by the door.

"Sorry about earlier." I mumbled awkwardly.

"That's okay."

"Uhm…"

"Mm?"

Silence.

I could kick myself. I have been looking all over school for him and now that he was in front of me, I was all tongue-tied like a lovesick fool.

This was a serious crush I'm having and the thing that irked me was that usually, it was the other way around and I was on the receiving end.

"I've been looking for you." I admitted to him.

We were walking down the corridor and I snuck a peek at him to watch his reaction to my confession.

He appeared genuinely confused. "Why?"

Urgh. _Why?_ Because you occupy my thoughts every waking and sleeping hour and you're asking me why I was desperate to see you again?

"When I woke up, you were gone, just like that." I snapped my fingers for emphasis.

I saw him duck his head and avert his gaze.

"I wasn't really sure if I should stay. I didn't want things to be awkward between us afterwards."

He was looking back at me with his lips slightly puckered and I was dying to kiss him.

_Ahem._

"I felt awkward when I woke up and you weren't there. I didn't know what to think and what you were thinking."

"Oh."

I nodded as he looked as if to ponder over my statement. We were both lost in comfortable silence after.

The frustration boiling inside me seemed to have calmed down.

As we exited the front doors, a light drizzle had begun to fall.

Ah, well, _crap_.

"I have an umbrella." Izaya was looking at me with a question in his eyes.

"Uhh, I don't want to intrude."

"It just big enough for the two of us." He shook it open and held it over our heads.

He was right, it was a snug fit but it would protect us both from the rain.

"I'll hold it." I offered as I took the umbrella from him. Our fingers brushed against each other and I flushed with pleasure at the slight contact.

My goodness, it's been so long…

As we walked side by side, Izaya hugged his bag to his chest and I could feel his arm brushing against mine every now and then. His body heat seemed to seep through our clothing and it warmed me.

"Where do you live?"

"It's a few blocks from your house, near the old playground."

His house was nearer to the school and I couldn't get over how near he was from where I lived!

I smiled to myself.

Just then, a crack of thunder echoed in the heavens and when we made eye contact, we knew we had to make a run for it.

"My place is nearer." He mumbled as I nodded and followed his lead. We were at the corner of his street when the rain started pouring down in buckets and by the time we reached his front door, we were soaked in most places.

I stood at the entryway, unsure of where to go or what to do. Maybe this was how he felt when he stood for the first time in my house too…

I caught the towel he tossed me, and followed his directions into what I assumed to be his room.

I had just removed my blazer and shirt when he followed me into the room soon after, another towel around his shoulders.

"I put away our wet stuff." He explained.

He had removed his blazer too and I noticed him take my wet clothes while avoiding looking at me.

Now _I_ felt awkward. There was no reason to be, but I was.

I shuffled on my feet, unsure what to do with myself when Izaya peeked into the room once more.

"I prepared a hot bath for you."

I perked up just then and my thoughts went sliding down into the gutter.

He half-pushed me into the bathroom, muttering warnings about catching a cold. I could see he has prepared a set of clothes I could wear and he handed me a fresh towel.

"You take this bath here and I'll use the other bathroom downstairs."

_Oh._

What was I expecting? That he was going into the bath with me?

I chided myself and hoped he didn't notice anything weird about my actions.

The hot bath was heaven but it would have been pure bliss if he were in it with me. I would run my hands up and down his body and my mouth and tongue would soon follow, exploring every inch and bit of skin.

I missed his taste and I missed the tiny moans I could get out of making love to his body.

_I didn't want things to be awkward between us afterwards._

Just then his earlier words hit me like a trickle of cold water down my back.

What the fuck was I doing getting lost in some lovestruck fantasy, anyway?

I knew why he wanted to have sex in the first place and I would bet everything I owned that he chose me as his '_teacher'_ because everyone knew I hated being attached to anyone.

There was a bitter taste on my mouth and I hated it. What was it? Regret? Whatever it was it wouldn't change the facts.

That, one, he wanted to learn how to seduce someone, so he approached me.

And two, after our encounter, he couldn't seem to be bothered to contact me at all.

My mood was foul when I left the bathroom, clad in a T-shirt and boxer shorts. They were a perfect fit and I didn't want to mull over whose they were.

I walked back to Izaya's room and found him laying some food on the table. I gave him a quick assessment and he was wearing a plain shirt, too, and a pair of loose shorts that barely covered his knees.

He had pretty knees, and pretty legs, and he was probably in love with someone else.

He was probably wondering about the frown I couldn't get rid of, no matter what I tried, and rather than looking at him, I concentrated on glaring at the mug of hot chocolate he served me.

After long seconds, I heard him speak.

"Uhm, if you don't like hot chocolate, I can make you something else."

I looked at him then, a bit confused, and looked back on the steaming mug in front of me.

There was a worried look on his face and he seemed genuinely distressed over my current mood.

I took a deep breath.

"I was just thinking about... stuff." I finished lamely. He was still observing me, as if he was waiting for an explanation, and I couldn't give him any.

What was there to say?

I took a tiny sip, trying to stall, and was amazed at how delicious it was.

"Th- this is really good!"

He flushed at the compliment. "Thank you. It's a recipe by my mom."

I took another sip and some of my anger dissipated as the drink warmed my insides.

Soon, I was floating on a tiny cloud of bliss and the words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself.

"Were you able to do it?"

"Do what?" And then he realized what I was asking. "Oh."

I caught his eye as he struggled to form a reply, but the telltale blush spreading on his face and neck gave me the answer I needed.

My throat felt like it was constricting and a heavy block of lead was weighing my chest down.

I moved closer and leaned a few inches from his face.

"Was it good with him?"

Izaya gave a tiny gasp and I could kill the guy who could also make the person in front of me flush like that.

I fought down the urge to growl and smiled down at Izaya instead. My thumb rubbed across his lower lip, reminiscent of an action that seemed so long ago.

Unable to resist, I leaned down, testing, waiting to see what his reaction would be.

He melted against me so sweetly, his hands clutching at my shirt. Instead of ravaging his mouth with all my jealousy like I originally planned, the kiss was soft and light and it tasted like chocolate.

His lips fused with mine and my tongue licked at the seam, asking for entrance. And when he opened his mouth, his tongue peeked out to explore my mouth, tentatively, shyly, and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach.

I was getting dizzy and I let Izaya lead the kiss, relishing his taste. I don't know when he climbed on my lap but I loved the position and the feeling of close proximity it gave us.

My hand wandered and found his nape and the soft black strands teased my fingers.

I needed air and I reluctantly parted from him, both of us panting. A hazy look had settled in his eyes and I was sure mine mirrored the same emotion.

_Unbridled lust_.

But.

Was that all I wanted? Another fuck, just like our previous encounter?

I could feel his erection pressing against my stomach and it took every ounce of willpower that I got to stop myself from pulling down his shorts and fisting it.

The two emotions warred within me.

I knew he was very willing as he sat there, squirming on my lap. But I wanted... I wanted...

I sighed, knowing I was going to regret this.

Izaya looked thoroughly confused as I gently pushed him off me and stood up.

"It's getting late, I have to get going." I explained, sure that neither of us bought the excuse.

"But..." Izaya began.

I was already pulling on my still wet pants.

Izaya was looking at me as if I had grown horns all of a sudden.

Silently, he followed me to the door.

He handed me the umbrella with an unreadable expression on his face. It broke my heart to see him feeling let down like that.

"Sorry, babe, I really have to go." I explained.

I have to go while I can still control myself.

Unable to hold back, I quickly pulled him into a quick yet tight embrace. I could still feel his half-erect cock against my thigh and oh god, I really didn't want to leave.

I pressed my own erection against his belly and he gave a small gasp of surprise and I reluctantly pulled away.

"What classroom are you in?" I asked, as casually as I could.

"But wh-"

"I'll have to return the clothes I borrowed and this." I wiggled the umbrella for emphasis.

"I'm in room 3-A." He replied with a smile as he closed the door.

I felt cold. I didn't realize he was one year my senior. All this time, harassing the other juniors at school and I should have been looking one floor above!

And then as pieces of the afternoon rushed through my head, I decided.

Maybe it wasn't a hopeless case, after all.

Humming an off-key tune, I made my way home, with the chocolate flavor still on my tongue.


	4. Chapter 4

I cast a furtive glance around the fast food place and swallowed the urge to sigh. Rowdy laughter reached my ears and I turned my attention back to our table.

My companions seemed to be enjoying themselves, good for them. We were an even numbered group; the boys and girl were divided equally. I could easily see Kadota's attempt at matchmaking and I had to admire the pairs he came up with.

Beside me sat a very cute girl, her hair dyed blonde like mine with huge made-up eyes. She had a well-proportioned body that would make guys stare unintentionally. I'm pretty sure they mentioned her name in the introductions but I couldn't even remember the first syllable.

"Shizuo-kun?"

She had a tiny voice, nasal and mildly irritating.

"Mm?"

"Ahh you seem kind of out of it..." She was looking up at me with concern and curiosity swimming in those wide eyes and I thought of puppies begging for attention.

"Sorry, I wasn't able to sleep well last night." I tried to give her my most dazzling smile but it turned out crooked. I hoped it didn't look like a sneer.

"Why not?"

"Ahh, well..."

I shrugged. She was leaning closer to me with each word she spoke and I swear her boob brushing on my arm was in no way an accident.

"You seem very tense." her voice was a purr and her hand was sliding up my arm.

I wanted to cringe.

Actually, I wanted to leave.

Kadota caught my eye and I saw the pleading in his eyes. he raised one hand in a gesture saying 'please' and the irritation gnawed at my temples.

'Please, Shizuo. One of the girls really wants to meet you and the others won't go if she doesn't.' his words from earlier rang in my ears

Damn you, Kadota, and this situation you forced me into!

Beside me the girl what's-her-name was idly playing with the hem of my sleeve, babbling on and on, her words escaping me completely.

I forced myself to smile at her and feigned attention, nodding every now and then, hoping she wasn't asking me any open ended questions.

"...Right?"

I nodded again in reply. And when she grinned back at me, I felt immensely relieved.

Now, I just wish the time would fly faster until I can make up an excuse to leave when a decent amount of time passed by.

I played this game too many times already, only this time I wasn't in the least bit interested.

At least not with this one.

And then like always, my thought drifted back to him.

It has been four days since that rainy afternoon. After that rainy day, I had only seen him a couple of times in school. Brief glances that left me wanting.

And this afternoon, I purposely left as soon as the bell rung and waited by the school gates, hoping to be able to walk home with him.

And then Kadota happened.

Damnit!

Izaya... I want to see you again, Izaya...

Something from the corner of my eye caught my attention. A girl was waving her hand, beckoning to someone.

"Izayan! Over here! Over here~!"

Upon hearing those words that was like a whiplash to my senses, I found myself sitting up straight and searching for the source.

I wasn't the only one who was looking around the area, scanning the crowd. Much to my surprise, Kadota was also doing the same thing. I lost concentration in what I was doing, curious as to what Kadota was up to, when I saw his face break into a smile.

My head did a quick one hundred eighty degree spin it made me a bit dizzy, just to see what could make my friend smile like that.

That was when I saw him. Dark unruly hair. Porcelain skin. Fur trimmed.. jacket?

Kadota's voice snapped me out of my reverie.

"Izaya! Walker! Erika!"

The trio moved towards our table, headed by the too energetic girl.

"Dotachin~! It's been a while! Ahh Togusa couldn't make it today, he has the flu~"

The people in our table guffawed and teased at the silly nickname.

"From now on I'm calling you 'Dotachin~' too!" Kana quipped beside me.

"You can't!"

"Awhs. But you let them call you Dotachin! Dotachin is being unfair!"

"Don't! Gahhh.. Rather than letting them call me as such..."

While this was going on, my attention was riveted on Izaya, who seemed to be avoiding my gaze. There was a slightly pained look in his eyes and his lips were quivering.

"Dotachin is a special nickname so only we're allowed to call him that, okay?"

The people at our table looked up at him in surprise.

He seemed to have composed himself and there was a different aura radiating from him, almost threatening in a way. Suddenly, he grinned and made me wonder if that previous helpless look was just my imagination.

Dotachin, erm, I mean Kadota also smiled at him, then.

"It's true you guys. Only they can call me that. I don't think I can stand if it more people called me by that embarrassing nickname. Ah, by the way!"

Kadota maneuvered himself so instead of sitting by the window, he positioned himself at the edge of the seat.

"My friends from middle school. Erika."

"Nyao~!"

"And Walker."

"Hi!"

"And this is Izaya."

"Pleasure."

Just his breathy voice made me shiver in response.

As Kadota introduced us to the trio, I couldn't help but feel annoyed. Izaya was really avoiding me and I couldn't fathom why...

"And, this here is Shizuo!"

Still, he wouldn't look at me.

In the end they sat with us at the table, Izaya sitting directly from me and yet we haven't exchanged a single word yet. My ears were trained on all the conversations going around me, waiting to find an opportune moment to talk to him.

"Ne, ne, Shizuo-kun~ Afterwards we're going to karaoke! Will you come along with?"

I tore my eyes away from Izaya, whose hair was being ruffled by my best friend.

"I don't think I- "

And then something clicked.

I looked back at the boy I was pining for, totally unaware of my existence.

_I'm right in front of you, damnit! _

And still he was acting like I wasn't even there.

_Notice me, why won't you!_

But at the back of my head, I might have figured out the reason why he wouldn't give me a whit of attention.

I didn't need to spell it out loud, especially to myself, because just the scene unfolding in front of me fucking hurts too much.

_Heheh..._

What was this horrible feeling clogging my throat?

You're both being so lovey-dovey in front of me when I'm sitting here being desperate and needy.

"I… I'm leaving. ", I mumbled.

"Wanna go somewhere together?" She whispered into my ear.

I gave her a hard long stare. She was really cute and all, but I'm attracted to someone else.

"I'm sorry." I patted her head once and left without another word.

I ignored everyone's calls from behind me.

I knew was being rude but fuck it! I was too pissed off to care.

His words came rushing back at me.

_"I want to seduce someone, only I don't know how... you know."_

I felt sick to my stomach and a frustration like I have not known before twisted my insides.

I wanted to cry, damnit!**  
**  
I wanted to cry…

* * *

**A/N:**

Silly Shizuo is so adorbs. c:

Thank you very much to **Rikka-tan**, **unjaundiced, **and **mika-chan** for the reviews! They made me so happy and gave me the energy to write more!


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